How to be comfortable with being uncomfortable

How many decisions do you make in a day to avoid being uncomfortable? Not just to obtain comfort but specifically to avoid discomfort. Have you ever thought about it? 

We so often just accept or make excuses for our decisions throughout the day without really looking at why we did what we did (or didn’t do). Many times to the detriment of our overall happiness and satisfaction.

For example; When you hit snooze 5 times this morning you might have told yourself, “I’m just not a morning person.” 

Or, when you convinced yourself that the annoying thing your partner does every morning is “fine” rather than having the awkward conversation about how it doesn’t work for you?

Or, when you stopped for that $7 cup of coffee that you know is overpriced, you tell yourself, “I deserve a treat once in a while” (or Monday-Friday and sometimes Saturday…and sometimes Sunday). 

Or how about skipping out on your gym session because you got a late start this morning (see above) convincing yourself, “I’ll just double up tomorrows session” Mmhmm. The truth is you don’t ‘feel’ like it today and you likely won’t tomorrow either. 

If we’re honest and willing to look, we’ll see that many of our daily routines are studded with decisions that are based on doing or not doing something to avoid discomfort.

The thing is it’s totally normal and understandable to want to feel comfortable as much as possible. It’s a hardwired part of our survival instincts. One hundred thousand years ago we needed to avoid danger at all costs and conserve our energy and calories. Now that we’re no longer living in the days of Saber tooth tigers and Wooly Mammoths our brains aren’t faced with constant danger so they find other stuff to worry about. Without realizing it we’ve begun seeing minor tasks, annoyances and discomforts as big, immovable obstacles. 

  If you’re the type to avoid discomfort you’re likely spending a lot of time and energy doing things to try and stave off the inevitable. As the old saying goes, “The only constant in life is change.” And change is one of the most uncomfortable experiences we as humans often have.

So if we go back to the examples above, we initially might see them as run off the mill parts of our day. But can you see how each one of these is actually a way in which we’re trying to avoid a potentially uncomfortable experience? 

By hitting snooze we’re really just prolonging the fact that we have to get out of our warm bed and start what we may perceive as a series of uncomfortable experiences throughout our day. 

Speaking of which, our partner is doing that thing, the thing they ALWAYS do! It’s so annoying but we know that if we said anything it would be really…uncomfortable. So we ‘let it go’ even though we’re now in a crabby mood as we rush out the door towards our favorite little coffee hut.

This is the point where many of us start to notice the wheels coming off. We would have loved to have gotten up early, had a nice morning with our partner over a homemade cup of coffee then got to the gym energized and ready to get in a satisfying workout. And yet little of this happened.

And this is the conundrum;

In our efforts to avoid discomfort we often create more tension, unease and frustration then would have ever been present had we just taken small, mildly uncomfortable action steps throughout the day.

Trying to dodge discomfort starves us of the knowledge, skills and experiences that help to make us stronger, more confident and more resilient. We miss the opportunities to connect and communicate with the important people in our lives so that we can empathize and build deeper, more supportive relationships. We miss out on experiencing the full spectrum that life has to offer. Being uncomfortable is part of the experience of growing, pushing our selves and accomplishing the great things that we dream of in our hearts.

So I propose a challenge to break the cycle of discomfort avoidance.

Do one thing, everyday, that you don’t want to do.

It doesn’t have to be painfully uncomfortable. In fact, it should be something very very small to start with. 

Maybe hit snooze 4 times tomorrow instead of 5. With the extra five minutes you just saved you could go out in your pajamas and stand in the fresh, cold morning air. 

Or do ten minutes of yoga before you have that first cup of coffee. 

How about set a timer for ten minutes to be on social media on your lunch break? Who knows you might even talk to another human…?

It doesn’t matter so much what you do. What matters is that you’re telling your brain that you are in charge and that being uncomfortable is ok. Over time it will get easier and your tolerance of discomfort will grow. Also, your perception of what is actually uncomfortable will change and expand. Things that once seemed like such a big deal will become routine.

There is a lot in life that can feel uncomfortable. The key is to embrace the discomfort. To acknowledge it and appreciate it for what it is; An indicator that you are at the edge of your knowledge and experience and on the precipice of growth. The more comfortable you become with being uncomfortable, the more open and receptive you become to opportunity and possibility.