The fallacy of the perfect moment
“Begin imperfectly, but begin nonetheless.”
My friend Anna said this is her mantra when she is wanting to start a new project that may feel big and intimidating or to do something new and perhaps out of her comfort zone.
This simple mantra encapsulates so much wisdom it makes me giddy!
How many times have you come up with a great idea for an art project, or a wild climbing trip, or maybe you’ve always dreamed of doing a stand up set at your local open mike, only to get tangled up in all the details of what “needs” to happen before you actually do it?
I know I have.
It seems so natural and logical to think, “I need to make a detailed plan and get A, B, C, & D in order before I commit to making this happen.” It makes sense, we want it to be a success! Our time and energy are limited and we want to use them in a thoughtful, productive way.
But what’s usually the outcome of this approach?
In my experience, it tends to turn into a procrastination vs. perfection fight to the death.
As we obsess over perfecting the things that “need” to get done, we spend little to no time actually doing the thing that we were originally psyched on doing in the first place.
But this is great because it gives us an excuse to tell everyone who asks, “How’s the project going!?”
“Well,” we can mutter half to ourselves, “You know how it is…with work and stuff it’s SO hard to find the time!”
Of course it’s hard to “find the time” because we aren’t actually focused on using our time wisely or courageously! We’re focused on creating perfection before we risk exposing ourselves to potential criticism or failure. We think because this is new and big and scary that if we plan everything to a ‘T’ and have a contingency for every possible issue that could arise, then we’ll be ready.
But this is a fallacy.
In our attempt to protect ourselves from feeling exposed and vulnerable we likely will procrastinate taking action on the dreams we hold in our heart. We will be, “Stuck in static form” as Anna puts it. “While we’re waiting for it all to be perfect.”
Anna’s reflection reminded me of something another friend once said, (I’m paraphrasing) “Balance is not static but dynamic.”
I had the vision of watching someone walk a highline. Suspended over vastness. As they moved across the taught line their arms swayed smoothly as if gently manipulated by unseen air currents. Their torso tilted, centered and cantered opposed as their trained core muscles fired in innumerable electrical impulses to steady and center.
Then suddenly, for reasons only known in the millimeters of difference in foot placement, our brave highline walker starts to tilt dramatically. Their arms flap wildly and their foot juts out to the side in an attempt to counter the discombobulation of body parts and energy. The moment is terrifying, exhilarating, unpredictable. The crowd gasps, fearing the worst. But also longing for and willing the walker to regain composure.
Then, just as quickly, our hero finds a point of balance. Equilibrium is reestablished. They step forward, the show must go on.
And this is just it. We so often imagine being in balance, being “ready” as this miraculous perfection. When we finally figure out the exact calculation to align all of the bits and pieces of life.
But this is like chasing “The Golden Goodie” as Alan Watts puts it. This misconception that balance, happiness, satisfaction is something ‘out there.’ To be sought and achieved. That one day, we’ll have it all figured out.
The truth is, balance is dynamic and ever moving and there is no ‘perfection.’ The second you think you have everything just perfect something will come along and knock you sideways once again. But, just like the highliner, this doesn’t mean that you are no longer in the game of balance. It just means the game got challenging. It got interesting. It requires you to take what you are experiencing and make choices on what results you would like to see.
If you are focused on how terrible, hard and unfair it is that this thing happened to you and now you are leaning to one side of the highline, well, you will likely fall off. But if you are able to focus on the ways that you can counter and correct. To return to the place you would love to be. Then you will find ways to stand straight and move forward.
It takes experiential learning to find out what works and what doesn’t. Who it resonates with and who finds it boring. Who gets your style of painting, writing, singing, etc.
We can sit and think and calculate until we’re certain we’ve thought of every possibility. But until we actually step out onto the playing field we never know which way the ball will bounce.
You are filled with brilliance and you have so much to contribute. Don’t let the fallacy of perfection stop you from showing the world what you’re capable of.
